What is Love?
There are many definitions as to what love really is. Mostly its a series of human emotions, that arouse the senses of affection and sexual attraction. Thats the technical version...
Real Love comes from appreciating goodness. If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen...you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
Many people believe love is a sensation that magically generates when Mr./Ms. right appears...No wonder so many people are single...
Sadly this is how most people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously they believe that love is a sensation (based on emotional and physical attraction) that spontaneously magically generates when Mr./Ms. right appears. However doesn't it strike you as weird that most relationships based on this almost always end? You have to ask yourself why? The answer is, because just as easily as it spontaneously magically generates, it can degenerate when the magic just isn't there anymore. The result is that you fall in love, and fall right back out of love.
True lasting love, is unconditional. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. We were created to see ourselves as good (hence our need to rationalize or regret our wrongdoings) So we, too, seek out the goodness in others. Nice hair, engaging personality, intelligence, talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but its the persons natural goodness that moves you to love.
Opposites Attract
In my opinion? I'm not sure and no one really is. Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow. Humans use neither an 'opposites-attract' nor a 'reproductive-potentials-attract' rule in their choice of long-term partners, but rather a 'likes-attract' rule based on a preference for partners who are similar to themselves across a number of characteristics.
However, If the people's values and ways they want to spend time are different, this could lead to "big trouble". So what do you do? Find ways to adapt. Make an effort to get interested in what they are interested in, but don't agree with it totally unless you honestly find it enjoyable to. Effort is all about trying again, and again until you FINALLY find that special something you can share together.
Being opposite from each other keeps you interested and wanting to know more about the person your with. Do "likes" have more stable relationships? There is a huge body of research that says yes to this. "But stable isn't always happy," So much depends on the willingness to be tolerant of the differences. It helps if one person in the couple is more easy-going than the other.
